Meghan and I have had four wonderful years of marriage and look forward to many, many more. It has however been a struggle to fulfill our dreams of starting a family. We consciously try our best (and mostly succeed) in living our lives with the idea that it is not about the destination, but rather the journey, and that each and every day should be cherished and enjoyed.
After four years of struggling with fertility issues the emotional and physical toll it has taken on us, especially Meghan, became too great and we both, almost instinctively, knew it was time for a change. We were tired of not knowing when, or even if, we might be able to add to our family. We had had enough of feeling inadequate, incapable, and just plain star-crossed. No more doctor appointments, invasive medical procedures and wildly speculative diagnoses. Without being too New Age-y about it all, just maybe there was a reason we had to go through this and it was time to explore what that reason might be.
We had many discussions about the future and what path our life would take from that point on but it truly was Meghan who had the “Aha!” moment. In researching and weighing and contemplating our options, this just felt right. She came to me with her thoughts, she was beaming, a weight had been lifted. This newfound lightness was accompanied by a new determination to make this happen as soon as possible. There was at last light at the end of the tunnel and as is our philosophy, we aspire to savor and appreciate each and every step of this process. Our child is (or more likely soon will be) out there, in Ethiopia, waiting for us to come pick him or her up. Pretty thrilling stuff.
It is an almost indescribable feeling of anticipation and elation now that we can finally picture how our family is going to come to together. We’ll soon be able to lavish all of our love and affection on a sweet, innocent child who needs it just as much as we need to share it. A perfect arrangement if ever there was. I can't wait.
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